Dads And Daddies

Brian and Judson hookup with Carson McCalley and Jack Dodge

Judson comes to the end of his sabbatical and reflects on everything it has brought him, including a significant amount of sex over the past week. Brian recounts the night he took his family to Kylie Minogue’s first-ever concert at Madison Square Garden. The two are then joined by Carson McCalley and Jack Dodge, hosts of the YouTube series and podcast “Dweeb Wars,” and contestants on the currently-airing 37th Season of “The Amazing Race.” Carson and Jack go deep into their friendship that goes back over a decade, sharing its origins, how they nurture and protect it, how they view each other as ‘platonic soulmates,’ how they balance it with their long-term romantic relationships, and how they came to building an online community together through their show, “Dweeb Wars.” They also reveal secrets of competing in “The Amazing Race” - including their ingenious preparation tactic - and answer questions from two special guest interviewers, Brian’s 9 and 6-year-old daughters. Carson and Jack stick around to help Judson and Brian respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener struggling with how much he compares himself to his friends and what he sees on social media.
 
Check out Carson and Jack on Season 37 of The Amazing Race on CBS and Paramount+, and on their own series, Dweeb Wars, at https://www.youtube.com/@DweebWars.
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with JXXL’s Leo Wyatt and Jordan Holland LIVE at the Cockpit

Judson and Brian return to The Cockpit downstairs at Daniel Nardicio’s Redeye NY for their second live show! Having just reunited with Judson after three weeks apart, Brian regales him with stories he’s been waiting to share about his daughter hearing him and his husband having sex, his struggles using AI to help navigate a Grindr conversation, and having “the talk” with his kids. Judson responds by sharing the memory of finding his parents’ sex tape as a child. The two then welcome Leo Wyatt and Jordan Holland of JXXL to the podcast. Leo and Jordan talk about how they encourage exploration, practice, and play through the private and public parties they throw, what sets their parties apart, how they define openness for themselves, their use of condoms, and what their Daddy Issues are. They then help Judson and Brian answer a series of Go Ask Your Dad questions submitted by the live audience, ranging from what kind of lube all four recommend to how to become more comfortable as a bottom. With a special appearance by returning guest Guy Woof!
 
JXXL online: JXXL.live/events
JXXL on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/jxxlcommunity
JXXL on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/jxxlcommunity.bsky.social
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with Adam MacLean

Judson and Brian are reunited after Judson returns from three weeks of globetrotting with his husband. He recounts highlights of his restorative trip to Sri Lanka, plus a sexy 36-hour layover in Istanbul. Brian happily reports on his recent stress reduction, having survived a dreaded business trip and having come to the annual end of his seasonal blues. They share some listener feedback about inaccurate medical information discussed in an episode from a few weeks prior.  The two then welcome to the podcast Adam MacLean, founder of PostShame.org, host of the podcast “Find Your Light,” and trained sacred intimate.  Adam takes Judson and Brian through his consulting work, helping people reclaim online content others may try to use against them, and his sacred intimate work assisting people to find comfort in their bodies. All three address this week’s Go Ask Your Dad question, which comes from a listener who’s concerned his libido does not match those of his friends and feels pressure to be having more sex than he is.
 
Show notes:
Find Adam MacLean at PostShame.org and listen to his podcast, Find Your Light
Judson recommends Rachel Kushner’s novel, Creation Lake
 
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Brian and Judson talk Cruising

Recorded last September, Judson and Brian share some unusual propositions they’ve each received on the apps before delving into a discussion of the lost art of cruising. They delineate the steps to proper cruising, reminisce about cruising successes and fails they’ve experienced over the years, and make a case for bringing cruising back in the current landscape of hookup apps. They end with a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener struggling with feelings of jealousy of his friends who he believes are more attractive than he is and are having sex with each other.
 
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Brian and Judson talk Fatherhood

Recorded last May, Judson and Brian share the details of their travel over Memorial Day Weekend ‘24 - Judson to Austin for a weekend of naked yoga, where he performed a stand-up set and met his spirit animal, and Brian to London for a celebration of his tenth wedding anniversary, where he and his husband saw a number of shows and enjoyed a playdate together with a ‘certified werewolf.’ Judson then interviews Brian about his path to fatherhood, from the origins of Brian’s desires to be a father, to his search for the right person to start a family with, to the before, during and after of the surrogacy journeys that brought them their two daughters. Staying on theme, they end with a Go Ask Your Dad question from a divorced dad whose 8 year-old daughter is not reacting well to any affection he’s shown by his new boyfriend.
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Brian and Judson talk Affection

Judson shares learnings from time spent with his 95 year-old father-in-law, and checks in on Brian’s stress-induced vision impairment to ensure he’s addressing it with the proper amount of self-care. The two then enter into a discussion about affection–what constitutes affection, how important it is to each, and how it manifests in their relationships with their husbands, their families, their friends, their coworkers and even with strangers. This week’s Go Ask Your Dad question comes from a listener who wants help responding to persistent online suitors who won’t take the hint that he’s not interested in meeting up..
 
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Judson and Brian hookup with Jeff Hiller

Judson helps Brian turn his frown upside down by making him reframe how he looks back on the past week, and challenges Brian to think about managing his stress with lessons about the mind-body connection Judson has taken from the works of Gabor Mate. The two then welcome the brilliant and hysterical actor and comedian Jeff Hiller, co-star of HBO’s “Somebody Somewhere” and author of the forthcoming memoir, “Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty Year Trail to Overnight Success,” to the podcast. Jeff takes Judson and Brian through the laugh-out-loud highlights of his life and career, from his days as an STI and HIV pre- and post-test counselor in the Denver Public Health Department to his entry into the world of improv to the meeting of his husband to his breakout TV role. He shares sneak peeks into some of the stories included in his upcoming book, and lets them in on others that ended up on the cutting room floor. Jeff then joins Judson and Brian in responding to a listener’s Go Ask Your Dad question seeking advice about how to engage his husband in a conversation about kickstarting their sex life that has fizzled over the years.
 
Preorder a signed copy of Jeff’s book, Actress of a Certain Age: My Twenty Year Trail to Overnight Success at https://www.strandbooks.com/actress-of-a-certain-age-my-twenty-year-trail-to-overnight-success-9781668031858.html
 
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Judson and Brian talk Vanity

Judson puts a label on his relationship with Brian and reports on his experience Daddying a third alongside his husband. Brian recounts a magical night attending Jinkx Monsoon’s Carnegie Hall debut and shares the highlights of his family’s trip to Puerto Rico over the midwinter break. The two then examine how vanity manifests for so much of the gay male community, and what it will take to answer the question Judson poses: “When will you look in the mirror and feel great?” Judson and Brian close the episode by responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from two dads who find it challenging to transition from the stress of parenting by day to being sexual partners at night.

Judson and Brian talk Breakups

Judson and Brian compare Valentine’s Day plans and reflect on their first Valentine’s Day dinners with their now-husbands. They then share the news about their second live show and first Dads and Daddies party on Friday, March 28, at the Cockpit in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City. Judson recounts an emotional week at work, having survived a significant round of layoffs, and Brian describes his week of multiple misfires on the apps. The two then tell each other their stories of the biggest breakups they’ve experienced, the closest they’ve ever come to breaking up with their husbands, what it would take for them to get divorced, and discuss getting out of relationships at the right time. This week’s Go Ask Your Dad question comes from a couple new to playing with thirds who are wondering if there is an issue with kicking off their interactions with a drink and a chat.

Judson and Brian talk Friends with Benefits

Judson and Brian compare how they are attempting to find balance and peace in unsteady times and provide updates about how they were each happily surprised this week by some unexpected playtime. Brian talks about time spent with his kids before getting on his soapbox about the unrealistic expectations for parents set by the cartoon show "Bluey." The two then explore the concept of "friends with benefits"—how they define it, whether any of their current friendships fall into that category, how friends with benefits work in open relationships, and whether they have friendships now they'd like to turn into friends with benefits. On the theme of friends, Judson and Brian end by taking a "Go Ask Your Dad" question about how to navigate the end of queer friendships, particularly when they exist within a larger circle of friends.