Dads And Daddies

Brian and Judson talk Masculinity

Brian tests whether or not he can make a hookup happen in the limited time available to him while his daughter is at an appointment. Judson crosses state lines for a hookup and receives a cultural education. Brian’s family enjoys a week of the arts–a Chappell Roan concert, the Mamma Mia revival on Broadway, and the Gabby’s Dollhouse movie–and he provides his thoughts on each. Judson feels the “Hookup of the Week” in his heart more than his groin. The two then attempt to tackle the topic of masculinity, how they each approach the expectations to live up to masculine standards, how it has shaped who they are as sexual beings, and the relationship between the standard of masculine beauty in the gay community and the AIDS epidemic. They end by responding to a “Go Ask Your Dad” question from a listener seeking advice after his sex life with his partner whom he loves and who he acknowledges is his person has dwindled over time.
 
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Friendly Fire with Brian and Judson, Vol. 3

Judson recounts a weekend trip upstate and forgets an unforgettable hookup. Brian envies his husband's incredibly successful week of hookups, one so plentiful it allowed him to forget one, too. The two then commiserate about the preparation required for bottoming. Brian discusses his tenth trip to see "Oh, Mary!" and his fifth Mary, Jinkx Monsoon. Judson explains why he chose a trip to Arkansas to celebrate his tenth wedding anniversary. Both are very turned on by a "Hookup of the Week" that's far more about the thrill of the chase than the act itself. After the break, Brian shares his heartbreak after some of his family's main sources of joy became embroiled in hot-button political situations—and on the wrong side. In his quest to be helpful, he shares to-do lists from transgender rights expert Chase Strangio that provide guidance for what cis and trans people can do to aid in protecting the trans community. Judson offers tips for navigating conversations about complex topics one doesn't feel knowledgeable about. The episode closes with a "Go Ask Your Dad" question from a listener in the beginning stages of opening his relationship, who is curious about how to incorporate the Love Languages into the process.
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with Bryan Bance

Judson accepts a job offer and feels deep appreciation for all the support he received over his past few weeks of unemployment. Brian has found a new love in a sandwich he’s discovered near his office. Brian and Judson express their love for the trans community and ask how they can be best of service in these times of incredible oppression. The super-hot Hookup of the Week comes from a listener who attends Dads and Daddies friend DJ James Anthony’s new party, Unspeakable Joy, where he meets a pair of platonic roommates and brings them home to his boyfriend. The two are then joined by popular bator content creator Bryan Bance, aka XY BK Bry. Bryan talks about the enormity and variety of the bator community, he educates Brian about what it’s like to attend a bator event, he shares how being a bator has made him a better lover, how ejaculation does not always have to be the end goal, and provides thoughts on how one can get started on their own journey exploring masturbation. He also talks about the pleasure of ‘ruined orgasms,’ provides tips on edging, discusses the phenomenon of gooning, and laments the lack of accurate sex education in the U.S. To close, Bryan joins Brian and Judson in responding to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who has only just begun to explore openness in his relationship with his boyfriend and would like advice on setting agreements around communication.
Find Bryan, aka, XY BK Bry, on Bluesky!
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Brian and Judson hookup with Darrell Martin

Judson gets his first tattoo and shares his feelings about hooking up with dog owners. Brian experiences a near-perfect hookup minutes before enduring a far-from-perfect parenting moment. They listen to a short-and-sweet Hookup of the Week that, while quick, was a year in the making. The two are then joined by psychotherapist and musician Darrell Martin. Darrell’s journey takes him from New York’s legendary ballroom scene, appearing in the landmark documentary "Paris Is Burning," to writing and producing music for icons such as RuPaul, Pink, and Sheryl Lee Ralph, to his work as an award-winning mental healthcare leader at the intersection of creativity and healing. He talks to Brian and Judson about being a parent to five kids, conquering anxiety, combating shame, harm reduction and sobriety, abandonment issues, polyamory, the alternate definition of “fuck up,” the one and only time he met his father, and the home he found with the House of Xtravaganza. Darrell then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener whose open relationship is making him feel inadequate, insecure, and jealous.
Find Darrell Martin on the Web: https://darrellmartin.org/
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Brian and Judson's first repeat hookup! Chris Murphy is back!

Judson enjoys a restorative night to himself. Brian bemoans his recent difficulties making hookups happen. The two share thoughts about keeping sex with their husbands steamy after more than a decade of marriage. The Hookup of the Week finds a listener flying some particularly friendly skies. Brian and Judson are then joined by Vanity Fair culture writer Chris Murphy, making his return to the podcast after serving as Dads and Daddies’ very first guest 60 episodes ago! Chris updates the two on his living situation with his boyfriend and debates the virtues of repeat hookups. The three discuss the recent article from New York Magazine’s “The Cut,” titled “We’ve Reached Peak Gay Sluttiness,” written by Steven Phillips-Horst, which is all the buzz within the gay male community. Chris shares his concerns about the demise of reading in our culture, and Brian shares his experience attending “Masquerade,” the new immersive version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Phantom of the Opera” Off-Broadway. Chris then helps Brian and Judson respond to this week’s Go Ask Your Dad question, which comes from a listener seeking advice about how to handle the rejection he feels when his husband isn’t in the mood for sex.
Find Chris Murphy on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/christress/
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with Boomer Banks

Judson meets a possible long-lost relative during his very own Hookup of the Week. Brian gushes over Morgan Bassichis’ one-man show, "Can I Be Frank?” and finally scores his seventh review on The Blowers. The two learn that elementary age kids have caught onto the fact that ‘Daddy’ has sexual connotations. Both are turned on by the voice that delivers this week’s listener-submitted Hookup of the Week.  They are then joined by adult entertainment mogul turned DJ, Boomer Banks. Boomer shares his love for his second home of Provincetown, MA, and talks about what it means to be sober in a queer vacation destination. He digs into his childhood struggles with his family, his move from Los Angeles to New York, and takes the two through the evolution of his career from fashion design to go-go dancing to his discovery as a porn performer. He delves into his fight for his place in the industry as a person of color, and how he has fostered the Haus of Banks to support other marginalized adult entertainment performers.  He also shares how a surprising and staggering period of grief brought him to his current pursuits as a DJ. The episode ends with Boomer helping Brian and Judson address a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener looking for advice on exploring new kinks.
 
Boomer Banks on the Web: https://foreskinmafia.com/
Boomer Banks on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/baconlvr
Boomer Banks on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@boomerbanks
Boomer Banks on BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/boomerbanks.bsky.social
Boomer Banks’ Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Boomerbanks
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with Josh Sharp

Judson shares a significant life update with both pain and optimism while Brian goes on a perfect date. A listener submits a Hookup of the Week in which he experiences Judson’s definition of Daddyness. They are then joined by actor, writer, comedian and star of his own off-Broadway solo show, ‘Ta-Da!,’ Josh Sharp. Josh talks about how fun it can and should be to live outside the norm as queer people, recounts some of his formative sexual experiences, reminisces fondly about the days of finding sex on Craigslist, shares the secret to the longevity of his 11+-year relationship with his boyfriend, and challenges gay men of a certain age to find new ways to be queer. He discusses the origins and development of ‘Ta-Da!,’ working with the Tony Award-winning director of ‘Oh, Mary!,’ Sam Pinkleton, the significance of ‘Oh, Mary!’s’ breakout success, and the future of his work with longtime comedy partner Aaron Jackson, with whom he wrote and starred in the movie, ‘Dicks: The Musical.’ He also puts the rumors about Lea Michele’s reading ability to rest and reveals why he loves clip-on earrings. Josh then helps Brian and Judson respond to a question from a listener ten years his boyfriend’s senior who wants to avoid developing into a punishing parent in their relationship.
 
Josh Sharp on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cluckcluckjoshsharp
Josh Sharp’s Ta-Da on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joshsharptada/
Josh Sharp’s Ta-Da on the Web: https://www.joshsharptada.com/
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with @nycgaydad José Rolón

Judson and Brian celebrate the return of their husband and daughter (respectively) after three weeks apart. Judson feels his age taking in the fashions at a Bushwick dance party, while Brian feels his age due to the constant medical upkeep his body suddenly requires. The two are touched by a Hookup of the Week, submitted by a listener who credits the podcast for its inspiration. They are then joined by José Rolón, known as @nycgaydad across social media, where he has garnered more than 750K followers of his adventures as a single gay father to three kids, and has become a leading voice in parenting and LGBTQ+ Latinx representation. José shares the unbelievable story of how he found himself a single dad of three, how and why the video clips of his family became a viral sensation, how he views fame for himself and his children, his experiences navigating dating and sex, his feelings on aging, and how his partner of more than two years has integrated into his family life. He also speaks for the first time about the upsetting ways a far-right conspiracist has manipulated his content, how José is fighting him in court, and how he is so far succeeding in what could prove to be a landmark case for the LGBTQ+ community. José then helps Brian and Judson respond to a Go Ask Your Dad question from a listener who is two months away from becoming a father and is worried about the judgement he will receive from friends, family and even his own husband, if he continues to be as outwardly sex positive as he’s always been.
 
José on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nycgaydad
José on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nycgaydad
 
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Brian and Judson hookup with Rabbi Jason Klein

Brian gleefully becomes a Provincetown convert and extols the virtues of Family Week. Judson shares two recent learnings about language. Together they follow a listener's incredible adventures while traveling on the "Hookup of the Week." The two are then joined by Rabbi Jason Klein, senior rabbi at the largest LGBTQ synagogue in the world, Congregation Beit Simchat Torah in New York City (not to mention Brian’s first serious boyfriend over 25 years ago). Rabbi Klein talks about his path to becoming a rabbi, how queer people can reclaim their right to religion, how he experiences dating and the apps, sex as a spiritual practice, and his recent arrest for civil disobedience. He also calls on fellow Jews to be the best Jews they can be and stop what is happening in Gaza, and shares some thoughts on combating despair in the current state of world affairs. Rabbi Klein then joins Brian and Judson in responding to a question from a listener struggling with the adjustment to single life after separating from his husband of seven years.  
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Brian and Judson present their second Go Ask Your Dad Extravaganza

Judson and Brian beat the heat by hunkering down in the basement to answer another set of Go Ask Your Dad questions from our listeners! But first, Brian and Judson each negotiate rules with their husbands for running “sexy errands” during their respective trips to Provincetown. One listener educates Brian and Judson on gay car enthusiast culture, while another educates them on the proper terminology for a sex act discussed on a previous episode. Judson suffers through a tense week at work. Brian suffers through withdrawal from his daughter while she is at sleepaway camp. The “Hookup of the Week” leaves both feeling envious and pondering the magical qualities of hot tubs. After the break, Judson and Brian respond to several listener questions ranging from how best to communicate the desire to see a hookup again, to how to think about integrating one’s gay self with their work self after a promotion to a management position, to how to keep years of shame from turning oneself into a prude, to handling STIs in an open relationship, to what Judson believes to be the toughest question they’ve addressed yet from a listener in an open, long-distance relationship whose demisexual partner has begun to hookup with his roommate. They end with a voice memo from a repeat submitter with a unique request that could help him find the love of his life.
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